Illustration by Alyssa Phillips, Mosaic 2024.
Editor’s note: This story is part of the annual Mosaic Journalism Program for Bay Area high school students. The program is an intensive journalism course. Students in the program report stories and take photos under the tutelage of professional journalists.
Society says I’m untouchable, and I agree.
I’m a 17-year-old Asian American girl who didn’t choose to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. I dream of being a journalist. I spend most of my time at my high school theater and hanging out with friends late into the night. My SAT scores were very low, and I would probably be ostracized by my community if they knew how badly I did.
There is a certain stigma against girls like me who wear makeup, go to school, major in liberal arts, openly rebel against our parents, and correct them when we see them doing wrong. We are portrayed as promiscuous, out of control, and a pain in the ass to our parents. I am labeled as a rebel because I insist on living my own life on my own terms.
But this negative perception goes beyond the opinions of my Indian Punjabi relatives who say my parents failed to raise an obedient daughter. It goes beyond my identity as a person of color, or a first-generation American, or an up-and-coming artist.
Really, it’s an ongoing dialogue about women, and girls like me, and our place in society. We spend so much time trying to prove that we’re submissive and not fussy, that we’re happy with whatever decisions we make.
I say embrace the label.
Allowing this perception that we should be submissive and disciplined puts us in a box. A box that forces us to nod and smile and sit properly. A box that centers our lives on what our parents think and what our neighbors think. A box that limits a woman’s job to raising children. A box that reserves more important jobs for men because that’s the way nature dictates it.
Continuing to impose labels silences the voices we are raising in the name of change. Whether you are Punjabi American, Latino, or whatever your cultural background, you should be heard. My solution to all those who reject what the daughters of immigrants in America are becoming is to embrace it.
We are not the generation where women have to stay at home and be quiet. The Vice President of the United States is a woman. The CEOs of major corporations are women. We are out there and we have our voices. We are creating change where no change has been seen before. We are shaking things up and marking our place on untouched surfaces. Sure, not to sound quiet and fussy, but I can respect my family while still knowing my own heart and spirit.
There is no one-size-fits-all box. This is America. Each of us has the opportunity to carve our own path. We get to decide what wildness and wildness means to us. Because there will always be new choices and difficult decisions to make. Change is uncomfortable, but it is also inevitable.
Yes, I am unruly. So what?
Nanki Kaur is a member of the Class of 2025 at American High School in Fremont.
