Colten Brewer of the Chicago Cubs has had as rough a week as any politician. Last Saturday, the relief pitcher gave up three runs, was hit by a pitch and had a throwing error in a 7-0 loss to the Los Angeles Angels. He was ejected from the game and punched the dugout wall. This time, his aim was perfect.
The pitcher is on the 60-day disabled list with a broken hand, joining the pantheon of improbable injuries that have defined the Chicago Cubs in baseball history.
“The Fall” was when Cubs pitcher Steve Trout fell off a stationary bike (a stationary bike!) in 1985 and missed a game with injured elbow and shoulder.
The kicking incident happened in 2004, when another Cubs relief pitcher, Kyle Farnsworth, gave up six runs in a losing game and kicked the dugout fan, spraining his knee and missing a month.
Sneezing also happened in 2004, when Cubs home run king Sammy Sosa, suspected of using steroids, sneezed and sprained a ligament in his lower back, causing him to miss two weeks. Take care of yourself!
2005. The Finger. Relief pitcher Mike Remlinger trapped the pinky finger on his left hand between two recliner chairs in the clubhouse. He broke the bone and missed 15 days. Long enough to recline.
Kerry Wood, who once struck out 20 batters in one game, suffered a major fall in 2007 when he slipped and fell while getting out of a hot tub. He landed on his chest and missed the first week of spring training.
In 2009, there was “The Hop,” when pitcher Ryan Dempster celebrated a win by jumping over the dugout fence, tripping over it and breaking his big toe. Dempster missed a month.
And perhaps the most bizarre excuse of all: “crickets.” Outfielder Jose Cardenal missed a spring training game in 1972 because crickets kept him up all night in his hotel room.
Brewer’s self-inflicted injury was called “stupid” and he sounded frustrated after the game.
“I didn’t mean to break my hand,” he told reporters, which I believe to be true, by the way. “Sometimes emotions get the better of you.”
Brewer may never be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, but his name, or at least his knuckles, will be etched in baseball history.