The day Dan Carter hung up his golden cleats, tributes poured in from around the world and the world’s greatest rugby player sat at home mourning the loss of his identity.
The All Blacks superstar had it all, the fortune to match his fame, his health and commercial and media opportunities all to his name – but he felt lost.
“It really hit me hard,” he revealed. “Suddenly I wasn’t a rugby player anymore. I thought: ‘If I’m not Dan Carter the rugby player, then who am I?'”
Carter was speaking to Planet Rugby at the launch of the Global Rugby Players Foundation, a charity set up to support retired players with career coaching, grants and wellbeing programmes.
The only purpose of life
It’s a particularly timely announcement coming on a day when the Melbourne Rebels were dissolved by Rugby Australia, plunging another elite rugby union outfit into the same seas of uncertainty that have engulfed Worcester, Wasps, London Irish and Jersey Reds.
Carter was one of the most sought-after players in baseball throughout his illustrious career, but he’d never known a moment of crisis like this until the day it all came to a halt.
“During my playing days, I thought my only purpose in life, the reason I was born into this world, was to be a rugby player,” he said. “I’d done that for almost 20 years and then all of a sudden it was over.
“I suffered a loss of identity and a lack of purpose. I wondered: ‘What value do I have in society now that I’ve stopped playing rugby? What motivates me to get out of bed?'”
“Because for those 20 years I knew exactly what I had to do, and that was to become the best rugby player I could be.”
New Zealand’s “civil war” was in full swing after a bid backed by Richie McCaw and Sam Cane was rejected.
It’s been three and a half years since he announced his retirement on Instagram after being New Zealand’s all-time top goalscorer, a two-time World Cup winner and holder of 112 caps.
He hasn’t watched a rugby match since then and says he’s keen to play again, but does he miss the camaraderie, the community and dressing room banter? Absolutely.
Carter gives a heartfelt explanation of his decision to join the GPRF’s nine other founders, alongside Richie McCaw, Siya Kolisi, Jonny Wilkinson, Conrad Smith, Rachel Burford, Christine Sommer, Census Johnston, Sharni Williams and Thierry Dusautoir, under the chairmanship of George Gregan.
“We are a fortunate bunch of people, but we’ve all been through different challenges in our own ways,” he said. “We’ve all enjoyed long careers and been part of successful teams.
“But there were times when I really struggled with the transition away from the game and I’m still going through that adjustment period, to be honest.”
“Just think about all the people whose voices we don’t hear. The guys who played five games before suffering a career-ending injury, the guys who played a season or two before getting tapped on the shoulder by their coach to tell them they weren’t needed anymore.
“This foundation was created for them too, because we understand that none of us are alone. Being part of a foundation that can help athletes with all kinds of needs is something I’m really proud and passionate about.”
Supported by both World Rugby and the International Rugby Players’ Union, the GPRF says it will help players wherever they are located, leveraging local solutions to a global problem.
It commits to providing local funding, GPRF centrally delivered programming, career and business coaching, community support and partnership programming.
As Carter speaks, England are preparing to play two test matches against the All Blacks in New Zealand in July.
It would be wrong to say this series is as hotly anticipated as the match between world champions South Africa and Six Nations winners Ireland, but it is still significant.
Carter will be eager to see how his men perform in the black kit in their first test match since Scott Robertson replaced Ian Foster after New Zealand’s loss to the Springboks in the World Cup final.
A tough challenge
And he believes England will be a formidable challenger given their progress, which saw them beat Ireland and edge France out in the final two rounds of the Six Nations.
“We’ve lost a lot of experienced players and with the success Scott Robertson has had in Super Rugby, everyone will be looking to see if he can translate that success on the international stage against England, who will be eager to make their mark against a new All Blacks outfit,” Carter said.
“I think England have become a bit more able and willing to play with the ball from the World Cup to the Six Nations. I think the reason they got so far in the World Cup is because they played well in the tournament. There was a lot of risk-free rugby. England are looking to expand and grow that and they definitely have the talent.”
“Now it’s just a matter of whether they’re willing to play more with the ball and continue with that exciting, attacking style of play. I’m sure there are a lot of players who will want to get involved and it will be really interesting to see how they progress.”
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