- When Deya Arriaga’s business hit six figures in revenue, her next goal was to hit seven figures.
- She pressured herself to try harder, but found herself exhausted and earning less.
- Arriaga has set boundaries around her work hours and now calls herself a “comfort entrepreneur.”
This essay is a transcript of a conversation I had with Deya Arriaga, 28, from Berlin, about changing how I approach entrepreneurship. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
In April 2020, I launched my own business called “Digital Business Manager Bootcamp”.
Prior to that, I worked as a freelance online business manager for about four years. I helped clients – bloggers, content creators, and digital product entrepreneurs – build their dream businesses. I felt a desire to become an entrepreneur myself, so in January 2020, I started working on my own business idea. I compiled my knowledge into an eight-module course called “DBM Bootcamp,” which became my business’ signature program on how to become a digital business manager.
My business has brought in over $700,000 in revenue since starting in April 2020.
A few years into being a business owner, I started to pressure myself to make 7 figures a year. I saw other entrepreneurs sharing hustle content, but I felt like I wasn’t working hard enough to build my business. It stressed me out and made me feel ashamed.
Comparing myself to other entrepreneurs didn’t help me or my business. I slowly transitioned to being a “comfortable entrepreneur,” setting boundaries with my work and being kind to myself. This helped me to cure burnout and increase my productivity.
I was hard on myself when I was aiming for a seven-figure income.
My business achieved six-figure revenue in 2021. That year I put more pressure on myself, worked more hours, launched more products and services, invested more in mentorship, professional development, and hiring people who could delegate.
I knew I wanted to hit seven figures, and although I didn’t have a timeline, I knew that should be my next goal.
I was watching more entrepreneurial content on YouTube, and when entrepreneurs shared their advice, I felt like they were in a very rushed situation and their underlying message was that you need to constantly maximize your productivity or you will lose money. It made me feel like I wasn’t trying hard enough.
I went into “hard start-up” mode and pressured myself to be faster and more productive. I aimed to wake up early, no later than 9 a.m. I made ambitious to-do lists and felt like a failure if I didn’t get everything done.
I always had that little voice telling me, “Why don’t you try harder? Everyone else starts work at 5am, you’re not good enough.”
I was constantly frustrated, exhausted and overwhelmed. I wasn’t getting any financial rewards and my earnings started to dwindle.
Last year I asked myself, what would happen if I was kinder to myself? It was a gradual process. Slowly I started to make changes and now I can’t imagine going back to that frantic mentality.
I stopped feeling ashamed of myself and set boundaries at work
I started using “Soft Entrepreneur” and “Cozy Entrepreneur” about a year ago, when I was brainstorming ideas for YouTube videos. Entrepreneurship is often associated with working hard, so the opposite is a soft approach. I was inspired by “Cozy Gaming,” a genre that focuses on a relaxed approach to online gaming.
The first step I took to become a “soft entrepreneur” was to implement a “no shame policy.”
I would regularly call an entrepreneur friend, and when she told me she wasn’t getting enough done at work, I would offer words of encouragement and tell her that spending time with her family was more important. But I wasn’t treating myself the same way.
I made a conscious effort to silence that little voice of shame in my head until it became quieter and quieter, and now I have more compassion for myself.
I don’t set alarms or force myself to work 9 to 5.
I don’t even set an alarm these days. On average, I start work around 10am, but sometimes I’ll go to a coffee shop and not start until 10:30 or 11am. I have no shame in this because I know I can get the job done. In my opinion, the success of a business has nothing to do with the hours you work, but the impact of your work.
I maintain very strict boundaries when it comes to work: I don’t work on weekends, I close my laptop by 5pm most days, and I purposefully never work more than 6 hours a day.
In the past, I always wanted to work as many hours as possible. Since I work a 9-to-5 job, I thought an 8-hour day was the norm, but that just wasn’t possible for me.
Research shows that people who work 9 to 5 aren’t productive in 8 hours. Idea generation is key to starting a business, and it’s hard to force ideas to come out by just sitting in front of your laptop.
I’ve spoken to entrepreneurs who say they love their work and don’t want to stop working at night or on weekends, but I’ve also been intentional about building exciting hobbies outside of work.
I started playing more games, like board games and video games, making friends locally, and reading more fiction – these activities helped me separate my identity from the business.
The “comfortable entrepreneur” approach has made me a better person and manager
It’s too early to tell how these changes will affect the bottom line of my business, but I believe that in the long run the “soft entrepreneur” approach will be more profitable because it will increase my productivity and creativity.
I’m now more comfortable taking risks, I generate more ideas, I feel less overwhelmed, and I trust myself more.
The hardest part has been turning off that negative inner voice. It always creeps up, but I tell myself that this approach will make me a better person and a better business owner.
At first, I was worried that if I worked less, I would produce less and others would criticize me for being lazy. In the end, I produced the same or even better results, so I realized that it didn’t matter what others thought. It wasn’t their life.
I plan to stick with “soft entrepreneurship” for the time being, and while the rules I impose on myself may change depending on the situation, the basic principles remain the same, such as self-compassion and refusing to chase just “more.”
