For Caroline Li and Collin Wang, moving in together after eight months of dating was a combination of coincidence and urgency.
Last fall, Wang, 28, was finishing up his final year of medical school at the University of California, Los Angeles when he discovered mold in the two-bedroom apartment he shared with his roommate. He had to move immediately but struggled to find a new place to live.
“It was really hard to find something that was reasonably close to campus and affordable, and it was right in the middle of the semester,” said Wang, who had hit a three-year cap on student housing at UCLA, meaning she had to pay $1,425 a month in rent instead of the market rate of more than $2,000.
Around the same time, Ms. Li, a 24-year-old nurse, learned that one of her two roommates was moving out mid-lease in their $5,000-a-month, three-bedroom apartment near Santa Monica, Calif. She and Ms. Wang realized they could solve both problems by letting Ms. Wang live with Mr. Li and her roommate.
Li and her roommate will each pay $1,750 a month, while Wang will pay $1,500.
“I think Colin and I had planned to move here after he finished his residency, not after med school,” Lee says, “but it seemed like the opportunity presented itself sooner, and we were able to keep this apartment and save money.”
Li and Wang are among a growing number of young couples choosing to live together early in their relationships to save on housing and living expenses. A low inventory of affordable housing, fierce competition between buyers and renters, steadily falling rents and rising mortgage rates are forcing young people across the country to find creative ways to cover housing costs.
“Younger generations are having to seriously look for ways to save money and lower their housing costs, especially in big cities where rents and home prices are still very high,” said Hannah Jones, senior economic research analyst at Realtor.com.
According to a recent survey from Realtor.com, 80% of Gen Z respondents and 76% of millennial respondents who have cohabited with a partner said finances, logistics, or both influenced their decision.
Li and Wang’s apartment is on the top floor of a mid-rise building that also has a gym. Their apartment has an in-unit washing machine and modern appliances, and is close to the beach and major highways. They split the monthly cost of utilities and groceries with their roommate.
“When I moved here, I actually had some good terms because until recently, I didn’t have a salary,” said Wang, who has just started her residency program and has more than $200,000 in medical school debt.
Li and Wang said their communication has improved since they started living together and they enjoy spending time together more, but they are still working on blending their lifestyles.
“Even roommates have to respect each other’s boundaries,” Lee says, “but with a partner, the shared space feels so much more intimate.”
Although sharing rent has its benefits, living together early in a relationship can cause problems if couples don’t fully understand each other’s communication styles and conflict-resolution skills, said Nicole Osequeda, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Chicago.
“There are big differences, and if you don’t have a foundation to discuss difficult things, whether it’s about money or anything else, it can exacerbate the stress you’re already feeling,” says Osequeda, who specializes in helping young people and couples going through life transitions.
Seven months after they started dating, 26-year-old Caitlin Kadazin and her 28-year-old boyfriend moved into a studio apartment in a downtown Chicago high-rise.
Their apartment rented for $2,400 a month and had a variety of amenities, including a dog run, a conference room, and in-room laundry. The couple decided to split the rent based on their income: Kadazin, an events manager, paid $1,000 a month, and her boyfriend, a licensed lawyer, paid the remaining $1,400.
“I said, ‘I can pay $1,000 toward my share of the rent,’ and that’s how we got to this deal,” said Kadazin, who had previously rented a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate in another part of Chicago, each paying $900 a month.
When her roommate decided to move out, Kadazin and her boyfriend decided it would be more cost-effective to move in together than to rent an apartment on their own. Kadazin said she could afford to live alone, but wanted to live with someone to save money.
“I started looking into master’s programs this year, so money has been on my mind a lot,” she said.
The couple split utility and grocery bills equally, but Kadazin said managing their shared finances isn’t always perfect.
“He manages his finances very well and sometimes I don’t,” she said.
Kadazin’s boyfriend, who asked not to be named to protect his privacy, said they had poorly set financial expectations before they started living together, but together they learned how to set better financial goals and have become a stronger couple.
Kadazin said that overall, living with her boyfriend has been a positive experience and she feels there is still room for growth in their relationship.
“I think living together has been a test of our relationship but it has made it so much stronger and I feel so comfortable around him,” she said.
But not all relationships last after the new couple decides to move in together.
In June 2021, Eva Hirsch (26) moved to Philadelphia with her boyfriend after a year of dating in New York City. They lived separately in New York. Hirsch rented a small studio apartment for $2,000 a month, and her boyfriend rented a small studio apartment for $1,900 a month, which was soon to be increased to $3,200 a month as a “COVID measure.”
When Ms. Hirsch got a job offer in Philadelphia, she persuaded her husband to move there with her, and the two chose a two-bedroom apartment for $4,000 a month, splitting the rent.
“It was so cheap compared to what each of us would have paid in New York City,” Hirsch says.
Two years later, Hirsch and her boyfriend decided to end their relationship and move out of their apartment, which meant they had to terminate their lease.
Ms. Hirsch, who now lives in Norwalk, Connecticut, said that at the time, moving in with her boyfriend felt like “the next right thing.” They bought a car together and split the monthly payments evenly. They also split utility bills and grocery costs equally.
“It was a time when everyone in a relationship was doing the same thing, and most people didn’t break up,” Hirsch said, adding that moving in with her boyfriend taught her a lot about herself and what she wanted in a future relationship. Looking back, she said she wishes she had waited longer before moving in together.
“It was a good thing to try,” Hirsch said. “It would be hard to start another relationship now.”
