- I have a 4 year old son and I forgot to register him for summer camp.
- I wanted him to have the same summers I had growing up in the ’90s.
- I am giving him less screen time and more time outside.
When I realized I’d forgotten to sign up my 4-year-old son for swim lessons and summer camp, I felt like a failure as a mother. His daycare was closed for the summer, and I was caring for him part-time, but the chaos that lay ahead made me panic. I felt guilty that my son would miss out on important memory and key skills, and that I’d have less free time to read and write in the piles of books piling up on his bedside table.
But last weekend, I watched my son play construction with the boys next door in the backyard. There was no plan, no gimmick, and they breezed through the afternoon. I sipped iced coffee in the sun and sneaked a few chapters of a book. We had frozen pizza for dinner, and my son, tired from playing outside all day, went to sleep without protest.
I fondly remembered the magic of ’90s summers and wondered if millennials might have it all wrong. Maybe what makes a memorable summer isn’t pricey vacations or a jam-packed schedule of pricey day camps and Montessori-inspired programs. Maybe it’s about following our parents’ lead and doing less to make space for more.
After that perfect afternoon, I wanted my son to experience the kind of summer I experienced as a kid growing up in the ’90s — a time for bike rides, chalk drawing on the sidewalk, making daisy wreaths and friendship bracelets, running through sprinklers, and eating watermelon and popsicles — all while remembering those long, lazy days before the internet.
Although the world is very different right now, I plan to bring this spirit into our summer by following these philosophies.
I’m boring him
My TikTok algorithm serves up a daily stream of fun, educational activities to do at home with my son, and because I want the best for him (and really just want some quiet time), I’ve tried out many of them.
I usually get annoyed when an activity doesn’t go as planned and I only have five minutes to move on to the next activity.
Instead of desperately trying to fill every minute, I plan to leave room for boredom. As a child, my love of reading was sparked during those long, boring summer afternoons, and I want to give my son the same opportunities to find joy in nothing and let his imagination run wild.
Spend less time on screens and more time outdoors
I’m not one to be hung up on screen time, but this summer I plan to turn off the TV and spend more time playing in the yard, walking to get ice cream, swimming at the public pool, or spending a day at the beach. There’s less yelling when I’m parenting outside, and the fresh air has done wonders for my son’s sleep and mood.
But I wouldn’t turn down an evening screening of ’90s summer classics like The Sandlot, My Girl, or Beyond the Fused (while he’s asleep, of course).
Bringing dinner to lazy mom
I thrived, even though my parents didn’t pack me with all the organic meals in pretty lunchboxes. Summer seems to be a good time to feed your kids a little more lightly. That doesn’t mean you have to pack junk food, but it prioritizes play over making elaborate dinners they’ll never eat. He might have cereal, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a bowl of cherries. It doesn’t matter. He’ll remember the summers when Mommy let him drink from the hose, dig for earthworms, and play outside for what seemed like forever.
Liz is a Canadian essayist writing about motherhood and mental health, living in Vancouver with her husband and son. lizjhammond.com And @lizz__hammond.
