That’s why we made the decision Trump vs. the United States. Indeed, Alexander Hamilton argued in The Federalist Papers that “in England the King is a perpetual magistrate, not answerable for his government, and is personally divine,” whereas in a republic, “all magistrates are personally answerable for their acts while in office.” But he didn’t know what he was talking about!
In fact, the president I can’t explain His administration and his person are sacred. So we fixed it. You’re welcome, America!
In fact, we have studied long and hard the original intent of our Founding Fathers and found a fact that should surprise no one: many of them spent most of their lives as loyal subjects of the King. George Washington even fought in the King’s army.
Why don’t the history books tell us this? Why do the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence somehow inexplicably reject the notion of a single, unconstrained executive branch? Just because the Founding Fathers grew disgusted with their rulers in their later years doesn’t mean we should all be opposed to this comfortable, efficient system.
You may ask, “Doesn’t this amount to an expansion of powers?” But we anticipated this. We are not giving the new executive absolute immunity for all actions, but rather Official Only acts. It’s very easy to distinguish between official acts and unofficial acts. Official acts are acts that you, the President and King of the United States, do.
“it is all One may ask, “What about acts committed while in office?” Not at all! A Presidential king would certainly respect that distinction, and when he wanted to commit a crime he would say, “I’m going to take off my presidential hat and commit a crime as a private citizen!” and he could be prosecuted accordingly.
“Okay, but let’s take bribery as an example. Naturally, bribes are not offered to ordinary people. No one would bribe someone if they were not considered powerful. So wouldn’t it be impossible to take off the President’s hat?” you may ask. Uh huh! Hmmm. That will never happen! Think again that we ourselves are not to blame and have done nothing wrong!
Restoring the monarchy may be the greatest of the many gifts we have tried to give the American people this term. There are so many wonderful benefits to having an executive power above the law, unaccountable. There would be much more clarity when foreigners come and demand to be taken to their leaders. There would be much less confusion as the attorney general decides whether to pursue the president’s personal vendetta or enforce the law. There would be more military parades. There would be fewer messy elections. Everything we’ve done with rolling back reproductive rights, but on a much larger scale. We could relax, knowing that some people rule and some people are ruled.
And even better: imagine if you were forced to pay a small bribe to drive on the road, and every coin had a single smiling face on it.
