- Sabrina Phillips separated from her husband after about three years of marriage.
- To celebrate her divorce, she threw a $30,000 “divorce party” for 18 family and friends.
- During a mock liberation ceremony, Philip used a slingshot to launch his wedding ring into the ocean.
This essay is based on a conversation with Sabrina Phillips. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I never expected it to be so emotional, but the highlight of my divorce party was throwing my wedding ring into the ocean with a slingshot.
As the band entered the water, a friend played “Goodbye Girl” by the Chicks. Out with the old, in with the new. My life as a married woman was over. The next adventure had begun.
My guests, including my parents, applauded and cheered. I had never felt more relieved or happy. It may have cost $30,000, but my divorce party was worth every cent.
I met my ex-husband in Bali in June 2017, when I was 23 and had just graduated from the University of Florida. He was an Australian man just about to turn 29 and was traveling.
He was my first serious relationship and definitely the only person I lived with. We had a great time together, traveling to Bali and Europe. A few years later we moved to Scotland.
Only my ex-husband and I were at our wedding.
Our relationship had its ups and downs, and although we shared many common interests — food, travel, animals — we spent a lot of time apart, especially when he was flying to Australia to visit his children from his first marriage.
Still, when he proposed in January 2020, I immediately said yes. We began planning an international wedding in Bali for July 2021. But the pandemic put a halt to everything, with no idea when it would end.
An immigration lawyer suggested we move up our wedding. We ended up getting married in Denmark in August 2020. Restrictions were still in place and we had to take COVID tests before and after traveling. Only the two of us attended the ceremony, while our families watched over Zoom.
I cried when we said our vows. Everyone thought it was because I was so happy. In truth, I was like, “Oh my god, I just got married and my mom and dad aren’t here.” But in my young mind, I knew it was the right decision.
We settled in Edinburgh, where I ran a business coaching company. We got two dogs, Bonnie and Clyde, and even considered having a family. But we had problems behind the scenes, including him professing his love and ignoring me. We went to couples therapy.
After a while, my ex-husband stopped going to therapy. I started going alone. Things weren’t going well. I was getting older and wiser as I approached 30. We argued about money and had other fights. We broke up in the summer of 2023.
It was a very traumatic event. I was emotionally lost. There was also financial drama afterwards. Luckily, my husband was not against me having a pet.
After the breakup, I focused on health and wellness
Because I’m an influencer, I shared the details of our breakup on Instagram. It especially resonated with women. They commented on my posts, messaged me, and asked for advice. They realized they had a platform to talk about the realities of divorce and how to get through it.
Meanwhile, I started to focus more on health and wellness. I wanted to feel and look good, purely for myself. I got Botox injections and cosmetic surgery, including a rhinoplasty and blepharoplasty, in New York City.
A friend and I jokingly coined the phrase “sexiest ex-wife ever,” which was one of the reasons I decided to celebrate my new look and newfound freedom with a divorce party.
I wanted to challenge the negative perception surrounding divorce. Many people see divorce as a failure. Just because a marriage ends doesn’t mean it was a failure, or something to regret.
We live our lives in chapters, and it’s okay if one chapter is marriage and the next chapter is single again.
The party was in April in my hometown of Miami, right before my 30th birthday. 18 people flew in from Canada, California, Texas, North Carolina, and all over Florida. It was so great to have my mom and dad there. They weren’t at my wedding, so it was great that they came to celebrate my divorce.
I felt ugly, rejected, or unwanted
I micromanaged how the guests were dressed: since it was my wedding funeral, everyone had to wear black.
We started with a sexy lingerie shoot in a hotel suite with my girlfriends. I wore lacy underwear and posed with a black heart-shaped divorce cake. That was great because going through a divorce can make you feel so ugly, rejected and unwanted. I felt the opposite.
We then enjoyed a four-course dinner at a beachfront restaurant in Miami Beach. We ate caviar and seafood and drank Dom Perignon. The atmosphere was amazing. We couldn’t have had better company or time.
My wedding ring, a platinum Cartier ring I bought in Copenhagen for $1,000, was thrown into the ocean in a mock wedding ceremony.
The jeweler told me I could melt it down and make about $70 by weight of metal. “That’s not very interesting,” I thought. “Do I want $70, or do I want a picture or video of me throwing my wedding ring into the ocean?” It was all about the symbolism. I picked up the slingshot.
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