The decision is yours. Should I tell my husband who I’m voting for in the general election? | Marriage

Prosecutor: Mandy

Barry is very left wing and is trying to change my mind, but I have a right to keep my opinions to myself.

My husband, Barry, has strong political opinions and is very left wing. He always tries to convince me to change my views, and I hate it. I grew up in a very conservative household, that’s all I’ve ever known. I don’t like being told what to think, so I try to vote in secret, and he hates it.

Recently during the London Mayoral elections he got very angry because I didn’t tell him who I was voting for. The postal ballot was in the kitchen and he kept asking me “Have you filled it in yet?” I was planning to vote at the last minute but didn’t tell him who I was voting for. He said “Shall I fill in your postal ballot?” which is actually cheating. I think he was joking but he was desperate to control my vote.

If we say anything good about the Conservatives in our house, Barry gets furious. He gets totally furious. He once said, “If you vote Conservative in the next election, I’m going to divorce you.” I think he meant it. Our middle daughter senses the tension and tells us not to tell her who we voted for so we don’t get into an argument. Every time something happens in the news or on the NHS, Barry says, “Well, you voted for this party.” We met in 2010 and I don’t think he was like this then. We didn’t talk much about politics then, but now it’s become an issue because Barry is passionate.

Whenever I try to say something, my father talks me down because he knows more about politics than I do. He has been obsessed with politics all his life and has been a Conservative. But I don’t care about voting and I think it’s a waste of time. I have a lot of things to worry about and I don’t think I can control the politics of this country. But I always vote. I don’t think the Conservatives are doing a good job and Barry and I actually agree on some things. We both voted to remain in the EU and we both think doctors are overworked. I want Labour to come to power to shut him up. But he gets so worked up about politics that I don’t think we should discuss it.

Defender: Barry

I am very angry at this government and would like to debate Mandy.

Mandy wouldn’t tell me who she voted for in last month’s local election, so I thought, “Well, I’ll find out.” We keep talking about politics, but I grew up in a politically-inclined household, we talked about politics all the time, and I think families should be having these discussions.

For example, Mandy’s dad is quite right-wing and voted for Brexit, but he always has an informed response and is very knowledgeable and we often discuss our opinions, but Mandy never wants to say anything to me.

We met in 2010, just before the coalition election, and I remember her voting for David Cameron. We were new to each other then, and we never discussed politics. But like many people, I’ve grown angry over the last few years. Watching the Conservatives go awry during the pandemic has made me more angry than ever. It’s been so long since we’ve had a Labour government that I’m frustrated. Maybe it feels like we’re more polarised this time around.

We agree on some things – the NHS, education, private schools – but I voted for Sadiq Khan for Mayor of London and I’m more anti-Conservative than pro-Labour these days. I always vote Labour. Mandy and I can discuss our differences but I think I’m better at listening to her and not shouting at her.

Whenever Mandy defends the Conservatives I always say: “Look what they’ve done to this country after 14 years!” I think we’re all tired of the way the Conservatives have run the UK. I was annoyed when Mandy wouldn’t tell me how she was voting in the local elections. I wasn’t going to fill in a postal ballot for her. That was a joke. And when she said she’d divorce me if I voted Conservative.

Mandy says she won’t tell me how she’ll vote in the upcoming election, and I’ll have to accept that, but I still believe that people who are close should discuss their political leanings, and that’s a healthy thing to do.

Guardian readers’ jury

Should Barry stop talking politics?

While Barry may seem overly political and overbearing, surely there’s no harm in informing him of your decision on who to vote for – you’re married, after all!
Peter, 71 years old

Barry needs to drop the political high-handedness. Sure, sharing things is healthy, but his idea of ​​sharing is yelling at Mandy. If he wants her to change from blue to red, maybe he should try a little gentle reverse psychology..
Veronica, 39

Barry is guilty. It’s entirely up to Mandy to tell her husband who she’s voting for. But it’s understandable that Barry is frustrated that he can’t discuss politics with his wife. Maybe Barry should step aside. Then Mandy might be more open to talking.
Katie, 21

Your political views aren’t a personal whim like your favorite flavor of ice cream, so it’s healthy to be asked to defend them. Your vote has consequences and should be debated publicly. But Barry’s approach seems a bit heavy-handed. If he spoke to Mandy more kindly, we’d be more likely to start a dialogue.
Simone, 44

I share Barry’s political stance and can’t wait to get these brats out of the way, but he should listen to Mandy and not, as he himself admits, “yell at her.” He’s right about that.
Ernesto, 59 years old

Now, you decide.

In our online poll, tell us whether Barry should stop talking politics.

Voting closes at 10am BST on Thursday 20th June.

Last week’s results

We asked Johnny if he should turn around and buy an automatic car instead of a manual, as Julia wanted.

74% of people said Johnny was guilty. – You have all the gear, but no ideas
26% said Johnny was innocent – Julia is the one who misunderstood