Editor’s note: Oona Hanson is a parent coach who specializes in helping parents raise children who have healthy relationships with food and their bodies. The opinions expressed here are her own. Read more opinion On CNN.
CNN
—
Shortly after former President Donald Trump was convicted of a felony, late-night talk show hosts and even The New Yorker magazine stuck to their usual tuneful territory by mocking his appearance.
Despite having plenty of substantial material to criticize (including his criminal conviction), Trump’s body remains a favorite target for comedians, cartoonists, and ordinary Americans who dislike him for political or moral reasons. While using Trump’s appearance as a punchline may elicit laughs, such mockery reinforces prejudices that contribute to the body image struggles men and boys face.
When I work with families whose sons struggle with negative body image and eating disorders, parents often express resentment at the pressures on appearance experienced by young men today.
“People need to understand that men struggle with body image and feel insecure about their bodies. It doesn’t make them weak. It doesn’t make them defective. It’s actually very normal,” says Aaron Flores, a registered dietitian in Calabasas, California, who runs the body-image podcast Men Unscripted.
In recent years, men’s body insecurities have only grown, with the body type fetishized by men becoming increasingly exaggerated and unattainable.
From The New Yorker/Collecting Trump Cards
Left: The New Yorker cover; Right: Trump’s superhero NFT trading cards
“The fetishization of one body type and the criticism of another is undoubtedly damaging to younger generations of men,” says Steven Reeder, a licensed clinical counselor and certified eating disorder specialist in Denver. “The media has sexualized and objectified women’s bodies for centuries, but in the past few decades there has been a significant increase in the objectification and sexualization of men’s bodies to a level that is unrealistic and unattainable.”
While celebrities may seem like natural targets for ridicule, Rieder added, there is also unintended collateral damage: “When we criticize someone who has a different body type than, say, Chris Hemsworth, we’re essentially saying this person is bad and that person is good.”
Trump himself has been known to publicly bully others and criticize their body images, so some might think he would be entitled to similar ad hominem attacks. But both Flores and Rieder cautioned against “bullying the bullies,” especially since it’s innocent bystanders who are hurt the most by these jokes, internalizing the message that their own bodies can also be subject to ridicule, even if someone else is laughing along with them.
To make matters worse, Flores explained, it’s still taboo for many men to talk openly about their body image, “so everyone suffers alone. Men are experiencing this silent suffering right now.”
Flores said legitimizing physical humor mocking Trump also sets a dangerous precedent that one person’s actions are acceptable for others to copy when criticizing people they dislike.
“If we use that logic, our society is in big trouble,” Flores says. “We can still have our own moral values.” For Trump’s opponents, it’s worth considering what it means to emulate Trump’s ways. Is it okay to disparage someone’s appearance simply because you don’t like them? What does it mean to be willing to emulate someone whose character is questionable?
Body image isn’t just about weight
In addition to his weight, Trump’s hair and the size of his hands are also frequent targets of ridicule, which taken together “speak to a hyper-masculine ideal that one needs to demonstrate that one is strong, healthy and physically well-built,” Flores said.
Conveying masculinity is a feature of Trump’s persona that he and his boosters like to highlight, as seen on superhero trading cards and other AI-generated images that show him in muscular action poses.
Flores said the public debate over Trump’s iconic hairstyle has intensified concerns among men with thinning hair about whether they look masculine and youthful. “It’s a very uncomfortable part of aging, and instead of embracing it, there are many ways we try to hide it. Hair loss is a very sensitive and insecure issue for many people.”
If we find ourselves making fun of Trump’s body, it invites us to reflect on the power of internalized cultural messages about which bodies should be respected. These awkward moments offer an opportunity to “examine our own perceptions of gender and body image and be mindful and honest about our own biases,” Rieder said.
Flores said people who have strong feelings of disdain for Trump’s policies often become overly emotional and give in to these polarizing impulses: “Making fun of his appearance is an easy thing to fall into. Unfortunately, that’s what people fall into when they want to criticize someone without much intellectual discussion.”
How to stop body shaming
For those who want to be more mindful of avoiding body shaming, here are ways to disrupt the status quo without becoming the humor police.
Treating it as a personal issue and “keeping it away from Trump” is an effective way to draw boundaries around body shaming, Flores suggested, offering this sample response: “I wonder how I can avoid making comments about someone’s body. It’s painful to hear.”
That kind of openness requires a lot of vulnerability, and Flores acknowledged that it’s not something everyone can access in every situation.
“I feel sorry for those who don’t say anything, but I think it’s really important to learn to set boundaries when it comes to talking to others about your body, and I think setting boundaries is a healthy thing to do. But it can be really hard to do.”
Rieder suggested that being honest and factual could also be an effective approach to “de-stigmatize these types of conversations.” One response he offered was, “It’s okay to dislike someone, disagree with someone, or not like them personally. But I don’t think it’s ever okay to criticize someone’s body.”
If a close friend or family member makes a body-shaming joke or shares a fat-phobic meme about Trump, Rieder encourages responding with “kind curiosity,” suggesting responding with, “That’s really interesting. Can you tell me what you find funny about this image?”
If your family has already had conversations about body diversity and acceptance, there’s no need to condemn people who make fat jokes, Flores added. It might be an opportunity to pause and say, “Do you know how easily we fall into that? This is a great example of how quickly we can make fun of someone because we don’t like them,” and realize how deeply ingrained our beliefs are.
Get our free weekly newsletter
These moments, Flores noted, raise fundamental questions that go beyond physical conversation: “How can we empathize with each other even when we disagree?”
Rather than getting upset at someone’s joke and launching a verbal attack, Reeder imagines a much more productive exchange between two people who disagree: “What if we just let go of the rope and had an open conversation, and then we could both really start to learn.”
An empathetic and non-judgmental approach would go a long way towards facilitating a more civil dialogue not just about politicians’ bodies but about politics in general.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, National Alliance Eating disorders We provide resources and referrals.
