Latter-day Saint men should want women to be in “the room where it happens.”

By modeling true equality now, we can create strong families that remain actively involved in the church for generations.

Dear Priesthood Holders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

Over the past year, there has been growing discussion here in the Bay Area about the lack of women at all levels of Church leadership and a policy change that would remove Relief Society presidents from the pulpit during sacrament meeting. Many men don’t realize it. Others dismiss this as an unrest among a small number of disaffected or apostate women. As someone who has been in the midst of this situation, I can say with certainty three things: First of all, men should be just as concerned about these issues as women. Second, the vast majority of sisters affected by these issues are faithful, support their leaders, and feel a deep connection to the church. And third, the central issue here is not whether women should be ordained or sit on the dais. Rather, the crux of the issue is that women have an important seat at the table in decision-making, have legitimate influence and voice, and have the same authority as men in spheres of influence. In the terms of the musical “Hamilton,” women want to be in the room where it happens.

If this is what women want, why should men want it too? Rather than engage in doctrinal arguments or quote church leaders, I would like to offer a more practical perspective that, hopefully, most people can relate to immediately.

At some point in your career, you’ve probably experienced one or more of the following in your workplace.

• Important decisions about direction, projects, budgets, personnel, etc. are made without any consultation.

• In large group meetings, it becomes clear that management has already made up their mind and wants people to rubber stamp that decision and go along with it.

• In another discussion, your manager interrupts you as you’re about to share an important insight.

• You are given important responsibilities, but you do not have enough authority to fulfill them and can be ignored by others at any time.

How did you feel when you experienced those things? Are you eager to help your organization succeed, but wondering if your contributions are truly valued? Have you ever wondered whether to keep it? Unfortunately, this is how many women within the church feel.

So, on a practical level, here’s why it’s in your self-interest as a man to want to change this dynamic for our sisters.

• Better decisions are being made. Despite their best intentions, leaders can be unaware of needs or mistakenly assume they know how members feel about a topic. Although it requires more work, gathering multiple perspectives allows for better decisions and fewer unintended consequences.

• Increased buy-in and commitment to these decisions. At best, leaders can expect unenthusiastic compliance (and a fair amount of quiet speculation in private) when decisions are simply being made. Rather, inclusive decision-making creates broad buy-in and a committed workforce. Those who receive counseling often convert.

• Deeper, higher quality relationships. After all, the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. As 1 John 4:19 reminds us, “We love God because he first loved us.” When we feel received, we know that we love ourselves, trust is built, hearts are softened, and our wards and stakes thrive.

• Having a forever family. On a more personal level, I am a convert to the church, and one of the beliefs that drew me to the gospel was eternal families. What we model today in our homes and churches will influence how our sons and daughters will behave in relationships in the future, and it will worsen over time, both positively and negatively. If your wife and daughters withdraw from church activities due to lack of representation and participation, it will be even more difficult to achieve the family life you desire, both in time and in eternity. . Conversely, by modeling true equality now, we can create strong families that remain actively involved in the church for generations.

Few people have any influence over what the church as a whole does or does not do regarding these issues, so they may seem too big for you to care about or influence. But as the saying goes, “Think globally, act locally” and you can take an important first step. You can choose to model these behaviors and principles at home and on your ward. You can achieve better results than what you experienced in the working example above. Our collective goal as a people is to bring God’s children to Christ and build Zion. There is no doubt that to achieve these worthy goals we need the women of the Church by our side and “in every room where it takes place.”

Gregory Palis a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Bay Area. Whether in the workplace, church, or other communities he serves, he works to increase the representation and inclusion of people of all genders, races, sexual orientations, and backgrounds.

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