I’m a 39-year-old transgender woman and political moderate, and I worry about where the transgender community is headed.
I am an American who believes that everyone has the right to live their life on their own terms. What I say may not be accepted by some, but it is true. I know from experience. And it needs to be said.
I believe the explosion in transgender people is man-made and partly the result of a breakdown in societal norms.
Being transgender is something that is deeply rooted in our souls. It is something we carry with us from an early age. Our bodies do not match our identity.
In some ways, that’s true for everyone. Women don’t have to wear feminine clothes 24/7, and men don’t have to do masculine things 24/7. Some men love to bake and sew, while some women enjoy masculine manual jobs or analyzing sports strategies. That’s why researchers say that gender is a spectrum.
Coming out is a very personal and difficult decision for transgender people. It’s something we struggle with. It’s not a rash decision to “surprise normal people.” Being transgender is not something you can put on and take off like a dress. Some of us come out, and some of us live in the closet our whole lives.
The only thing I’ve gotten from actual trans people is the idea that we want to express ourselves in our true gender because it will save our lives and lead us to be our happiest selves. We see our genitals as a burden, not part of the joy of our existence. Trans men don’t want to get pregnant because they are men, not women.
But a movement aimed at defying gender norms can easily defy its own norms, and now trans men are getting pregnant, or at least threatening to get pregnant in my social media feeds, as an expression of protest against gender expectations.
Should trans men hide their ability to bear children, or does that reinforce the binary that only women can bear children? Should trans women like me wear dresses and makeup, or does that perpetuate female stereotypes? In the trans community, it’s the latter. Trans people who behave according to more traditional gender norms are now being called “transphobic” or “self-hating.” Should I embrace my female identity, but not too much?
Another group in the transgender community are those who identify as “non-binary” or “genderfluid.” They use pronouns like “they/them.” They really want to turn things upside down by being very different from what is currently accepted in society. They want to be outcasts that shock the public.
These are people who didn’t fit into either gender when they were growing up. Instead of embracing their differences with more traditional motifs like tomboy or effeminate, they just want to be radical and rebel against the system. In reality, they’re often far-left activists trying to recruit radical kids into their political movements.
Transgender and LGBTQ people cannot challenge these ideas and people, and groups like Gay Against Groomers and Log Cabin Republicans seek to thwart any attempt to truly address these concerns for their own political gain. Those of us in the middle are left behind.
When trans people like me express views that are not left-wing, we are marginalized, even if those views have nothing to do with sexuality or equality. Being pro-Israel, pro-capitalism, pro-blue, believing in free speech, being a Republican or a libertarian, or being a Christian can marginalize us.
So what can we do to bring sanity back to life? First, stop teaching kids about LGBTQ. Remove trans and non-binary characters from children’s media. Stop teaching them in schools. The number of trans and non-binary kids is artificially inflated.
Second, we need to reset to some kind of traditional societal normalcy. Yes, the world is changing and what is acceptable is changing, but some things have been around for as long as civilization itself, and gender is one of them.
Third, we need to challenge the marginalization of the transgender community and tell them that they are very likely to harm the very people they think they are protecting.
Fourth, we need to set an expectation within the transgender community that all trans people need to make some effort to “pass.” I’m not asking trans women to look like Brooke Shields or Taylor Swift, but I don’t agree with them identifying as a woman and growing a beard. I understand that it takes money and energy to fully pass, but doing nothing is unacceptable.
Finally, we need to embrace everyone, even if we disagree with the views of the leading left in the movement. We are all on the same page, or at least that is how it should be.
Kelly Zailon is a resident of Aubrey.
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